— By Ed Novick
One of my college buddies recently texted me to ask incredulously, “What the hell is Toesday??”.
My response was simply “Relationship insurance”.
Of course the answer is much more complicated than that. But it captured what I thought he needed to know.
To expand on the answer gives a little more information about what Toesday is to me.
I wasn’t always with Leslie. I was married previously. Sadly that marriage didn’t work out. And it was devastating to me. In the painful throes of the divorce I did everything I could to try to save the marriage. I went to counseling, read books on relationships, went to support groups, went to church, consulted with experts, and tried to learn everything I could to save the marriage … or at least to learn everything I could to make the next relationship as secure as possible so as not to ever feel the pain of that loss again.
One of the simple joys of marriage is touch….loving touch.
One of the excruciating pains of a failed relationship is being in the desert of deprivation of touch.
Loving touch is so vital to wellness.
Going for days, weeks, months or years without it can feel like hell. I was in that desert once. I didn’t know if I would make it out.
But I vowed if I ever made it out and into the wonderful pools of loving touch I would never take it for granted.
Of course keeping the vow came with some responsibilities. It meant being generous with giving loving touch to a partner.
One of the most wonderful examples of loving, caring touch was given by our Lord Jesus at the Last Supper. After that supper Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. And some of the disciples protested not wanting Jesus to touch their feet. They knew their feet were dirty and it was uncomfortable to have someone else care for their dirty, smelly feet. Jesus showed great Love. He loved his disciples as he loves us, right down to our dirty feet.
I thought if I ever found love again. I would show such love for my loved one.
Anyone can kiss their beloved’s head. But can you love them so much to care for their feet?
“Toesday” was inspired by those experiences and thoughts, and became a catchy way to make that a reality.
Toesday is a weekly reminder to not take your partner for granted and to love them deeply and completely.
Leslie complements my technique in massaging her feet. That’s nice to know that she appreciates my care.
Hopefully what she’s feeling and experiencing is the deep love and care for her that I feel inside. Hopefully it’s a tangible way of experiencing my love for her. Hopefully it pampers her feet and makes her tingle right up to the top of her head.
We all need deep care. Jesus loves us in this way. He’s not around in person to care for us that way. We need to be the love of Jesus to one another. Caring for our loved ones deeply tenderly and intimately on Toesday, with a foot massage, is just following His example of love.
You would do well to love your spouse so well, to preserve the loving relationship and to make it last.